Little drops of water, Little grains of sand, Make the mighty ocean and the pleasant land.
Thus the little minutes, Humble though they be, Make the mighty ages of eternity.
Julia Fletcher
The humble minutes have evaporated into the big 3-4 for Gary and my wedding anniversary this week! Our friend John told us that at the altar, there are two perspectives. The groom is hoping his bride stays just the way she is, and the bride is anticipating all the ways she can change the groom for the better. There are seeds of truth in this generalized idea as we get started in marriage. At the altar, it is hard to imagine how the years will change us. The change will happen in the context of minutes, hours, and days spent together.
We all start in our human development as individuals competing against each other. We compete on levels such as what we do with our time, money, and resources. We can attest to the growing up that happens when we begin to allow someone into our lives and build a family. When we experience pain and the short-sightedness of thinking that alone we are sufficient to know or understand anything, we open to change. That openness isn’t a significant shift. It is more like a daily nudge. Daily nudges open us to change through being in a relationship and working together. The most consistent nudge of Gary in my life has been through his faithfulness.
In the 34 years of our marriage, I can only count on one hand a night or a morning that Gary has not opened the Word of God in either quiet private study or shared family devotion. Through the years of sickness, moves, sleep deprivation, I can depend on Gary being in and with the Word. More than an impressive record, it is a hallmark of who Gary is as a person. When I was dating Gary, the one consistent report from his friends about him was that what he said he would do, he did. Gary is faithful.
Over the years of our marriage, Gary has cheered me in my own work and pursuits, taken kids on camping trips, hikes, coached soccer, and on it goes. I have seen Gary daily lay down his life to allow our family to pursue many opportunities that require him to give out and be content with so little for himself. I know no better example of faithful service.
After all these years, Gary and I each still have our views, identities, and perspectives. I haven’t lost anything in opening myself to death to an old way I would have called my way, which is now our way. Our way has helped me grow in faithfulness too. How much better together it has been.
How does change work? One minute at a time over time with a faithful friend and lover.
What qualities do you have that change and influence others? Ask a good friend.