Category: Family

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Christmas was coming and the budget was so tight it was squealing.  I hit upon a plan to provide a little relief; I asked Mary if it would be ok if we did not give gifts to each other.  She agreed and we were all set…. Or so I thought. After 30ish years of marriage I have learned a few things, very few, and one of…

When I figured out that I was my biggest problem, I also figured out that I could contribute the solution. The best solution I bring to my marriage is being the healthiest version of myself. One of the deeper understandings in this season of my life has been that time is fixed and energy can flex. So often I have acted the opposite. I have acted as if time can flex and energy is fixed.…

One of the volunteer roles I took when first married was as a counselor for Navy Relief. The Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society provides financial counseling and assistance to Navy-Marine Corps families members in crisis by supplying them quick loans for urgent needs(as qualified), help with emergency needs like baby formula and diapers or help with emergency travel. It was a God-ordained opportunity as I saw that I lived a life with more margin and opportunity…

I really had this vision that our 30th anniversary would be a golden glowing year for Gary and I. Then one of our children landed in the hospital. With a mental disorder. A golden 30th didn’t happen. It was a false notion to begin with.  I thought of this nifty project to interview 30 couples who had been married more than 30 years. Maybe I would hear something that would inspire and reignite me. I…

As you would expect, the Naval Academy environment was competitive. I don’t think I really understood or appreciated how to have friends and deep relationships with people different from me without feeling the need to compare and compete. Gary was surely my training ground. When I made the promise to have and to hold when it came the “for worse” part I wasn’t thinking about “how worse” I could be, I was only thinking about…

  A promise. A vow. A pledge. It isn’t new to feel compelled to take extra steps beyond your spoken word to ensure the security of a promise. In today’s culture, a pinky promise, is the entwining of the pinkies of two people to signify that a promise has been made. Jesus had to tell his culture that they didn’t need to add to their promises to make them more valid. Matthew 5: 33-37 “And…