Sometimes the troubles we have with our spouse are a result of our own conditioning them. Let’s talk gifts. I think it is safe to say that giving gifts to each other is a pretty risky endeavor in the early years. Depending on how that is handled it may have some long lasting effects. Perhaps the real reason couples don’t give each other gifts is: We don’t know what to give Or In our instant…
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On our one year anniversary, I decided to surprise Gary. He was working a very stressful job. No matter how many hours he put in there was always a big problem and a big headache. So I made some arrangements and showed up at work with his suitcase in the trunk and invited him to lunch. That was the “sucker” surprise but when the car kept going north he sort of realized that the BIG…
Leave a CommentMary, you must be scraping the bottom to think that strategic thinking and marriage go together. How unromantic. Well actually Gary would say it has been our ability to strategically think, plan and act that has gotten us through so much of the challenge and difficulty anyone’s thirty years of marriage can represent. So consider some simple rhythms that may help you align your energy and your calendar. Because it is much better going together.…
Leave a CommentA crucial conversation is a discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong and the outcome impacts their lives. Sounds like marriage doesn’t it. Here are a couple of classic conversation malfunctions between Gary and I. Phone call I am at home. It’s the end of a long day. Gary is on the other end trying to drive home in DC traffic. Gary harmlessly says something.…
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Almost our entire five-month engagement period was spent with Gary stationed in Guam and me stationed in Rhode Island. Gary performed a classic sailor behavior; after he got me interested, he shipped overseas. Pause for a moment and recall, 1986 is pre-internet, pre-personal computers, pre-cellphones. We were equipped with short weekly phone calls to stay in touch. Short because the going rate at that time was $1/min for a landline phone call. Weekly because Gary…
4 CommentsCherish. It means to protect and care for someone lovingly. synonyms: adore, hold dear, love, dote on, be devoted to, revere, esteem, admire Cherish is a hard word for me. Even with 30+ years of marriage experience, I find this idea of “cherish” hard to measure. It clearly is me, my problem: I feel squeamish about love. During my first class year at the Naval Academy I played the role of Golde in Fiddler on…
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